Love it/Hate it

So the idea for this blog is basically a complete felony since I got the idea from my friend Lynn.  These are a few of the things that I am loving/hating right now and thought I would share them with you.


Hating - The Kardashian's.  Any and all of them.  I don't give a rat's ass what they are endorsing, marrying, birthing, nip-tucking, moving, modeling, eating, divorcing, breathing.  I don't want to see any of you ever again.  I am actually begging.  Even those little modeling twins and the Disck kid.


Hating- Jessica Simpson. I know this is cruel but I couldn't stomach looking at any more pictures of her pregnant.  I was a wilderbeast while pregnant but she looks like she ate The Dugger Family.  Her ginormous baby was born and now I have to see her going to the gym, why I don't care.  Stay home and breast feed.


Bethenny Frankel, I have said this before that I am not sure why she is famous, why do I care if she is getting divorced to that Poppy guy. Skinny Girl sucks and my friend Lynn and I decided a while ago we are going to make and endorse "Fat Ass" cocktails I am sure they would taste a lot better.


Beyonce - I have disliked her for years.  Why I am not sure just the mention of her name pisses me off.


Josie Moran - I first saw here ads for her skincare/make-up line on QVC (see below).  She had me sold.  I went to Sephora and decided to buy her bronzer.  Next day I go to put it on and its broken.  Go back to Sephora and all the bronzers are broken.  I decide on a lipgloss.  I go home and about to use my purchase and the lipgloss wand is fanned out so basically I look like the joker.  I now have to read her blogs on People.com and want to comment about what an asshole I think she is.


Love it/Hate it - Google, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde  This is a great tool for looking up virtually anything and feeling as though you are the smartest person alive since any answer is a click away.  I google constantly it's actually a sickness.  The downside to google is that because I have OCD and medical conditions I look up every pain, ache, tingle, twitch and Dr. Google scars the living shit out of me.  I often text my friend Lynn to tell her what "illness" I now have according to "Dr. Google"  We hate Dr. Jekyll.


Love it/Hate it - Instagram.  I love how using this makes me feel like a professional photographer.  The click of a button changes the whole look of a picture.  Hate it because every time I try to print these masterpieces out someones head is chopped off.  I have no idea how to fix this, so I am a photography failure.  If it isn't just a click of a button it's to dam hard.


Love it - Summer.  What can I say sun and beach.  Vacations in LBI and Martha's Vineyard.  Rest, Relaxation, Reading and cocktails.  Doesn't get any better than that!


Love it - Prosecco.  If it wasn't for this my sister in law Laura and I would have packed our cars and left home like Maria Osmond did years ago up the Pacific Coast Highway.


Love it - QVC.  My sister in law Mara introduced me to QVC.  I wake up very early every morning and I drink my coffee while watching this masterpiece.  Even though I have only purchased one item (which I love), I have a secret list and a qvc app on my iphone in case of emergency need to purchase.


To be honest there are so many more things that I hate but didn't want this to be a one-sided blog and appear negative.  We all know that I have a sunny disposition and strive to be cheerful and uplifting.  

Bermuda, Bahama Come on Pretty Mama...

This weeks episode starts travel Bachlorette, it's about time says "The potential fiancees".  Destination Bermuda, we get to see Emily and daughter Ricki frolicking around Bermuda exactly the way I would with my daughter.  Flying kites, holding hands on the beach, playing mini-golf, gazing at the water all while looking picture perfect.  If this was me I would be a sweaty mess, with my hair in a natty ponytail while my kid would be crying to use the bathroom.


The guys arrive at their abode and are told by Chris that there will be three dates for the week in Bermuda, a one-on-one, a group and the dreaded two-on-one date.  This is by far the cruelest form of dating and tonight's episode proves this 100%.


The one-on-one date goes to Doug.  I have said that I like Doug in the past and I still do but there is something about him that irks me.  Like Emily said he is always showing the perfect gentleman side but we all know everyone has flaws.  Emily asking him to list them was bizarre and he showed her that by asking her to do the same.  He seems a bit hormonal to me but at this point I like him well enough to be sticking around.  He gets the rose so I guess no ass kicking of Arie or any of the guys for jabbing him before his date.


The group date was 2 teams and a boat race winners get more time with Emily.  Of course we know this is about spending time with Emily but definitely an amped up competition between men.  Arie, Jef, Ryan and Kalin win the race.  Charlie cries in the van ride home ( for a second I thought I was watching The Bachelor, once I put in my visine I realized yes it's The Bachlorette.)  WTH Is Charlie crying for...please tell me.  Cringe worthy moment #1.


Arie takes Emily off to the beach wrapped in a white blanket immediately starts making out with her.  I heart Arie!!!


Jeff takes Emily off to the beach wrapped in a white blanket immediately doesn't start making out with her.  I like Jef and so does Emily but lets get this moving buddy.


Ryan is a complete creep, he makes my blood boil.  He is vile looking, full of himself and I wish Travis would have cracked "Shelley the egg" over his ridiculous hair.  Every word that comes from his mouth makes me want to kick him in the nuts.


Kalin has been pretty quiet but I have an incling that changes next week ( See previews for next weeks tongue lashing from Emily)  I have a feeling this jack-ass is in the receiving end.


Two-on-one date = awkward.
Nate + Emily+ Wolfe jumping off a cliff
Nate + Emily + Wolfe sitting side by side drinking wine
Nate + Emily + Wolfe sitting in silence
Nate + Emily with Nate crying over his brother and unable to speak
Wolfe + Emily giving Wolfe the rose b/c Nate wears rolled up jeans
I don't know the whole thing was painful to watch
Cringeworthy moment #2


Rose Ceremony
Chris feels the need to have words with Doug for calling him out for being young & immature.  Ok Chris I think the fact that you did this proves his point, ignore him and just try to win Emily's hear with your wonderful dancing skills and flat face.  Doug basically laughed in your prepubescent face.


In the end Charlie and Michael get sent home.  To be honest I didn't even know Michael's name till tonight.  A few tears are shed which always makes me chuckle.  Ahhh all the emotion.


Nest week in London looks fun, who doesn't love some f-bombs being thrown around.  I know I do!!

Who doesn't date their cousin...L

Emily, Emily, Emily everytime I hear the name I think of my childhood dog. Anyways, this weeks Bachlorette I feel was the episode where you can really start figuring out everyone's personalities.  I am going to start off with saying that I still believe from my week 1 blog that Arie and Jef will be in for the long haul.  


First date goes to Chris, what's wrong with his mouth? Anyone else notice this?  Emily think he is so hot, I don't see it. Let's climb up a building in a lightening storm..goodtimes. Chris wants to go in for a kiss..end result a high-five. So much passion it's like Christian and Anastasia in an episode of ICarly.
Dinner, dancing to another really annoying country band,   I think the lyrics went like "you make my heart go boom boom" He finally asks for his kiss, she delivers, he gets the  rose. Boring to me.


Group date at the park. Emily has her soccer moms in attendance to interrogate the bachelors. I just have to say that I am sure these are "real" woman but I had to laugh at them.  Quite embarrassing to say the least. I know they all loved Sean, and he is a sweet as pie.  I find him unattractive, dull and just to "perfect"  I am sure he is going to go far, I am just not that into him.  Loved Jef and his interaction with the kids.  If I was put in that situation she would have asked me to leave.  Worst date ever playing with kids I don't know.


Ryan, I said it from his first date, I don't like him.  Point proven tonight.  To cocky to walk up to Emily (woof) and her friends to interrupt, but then to make fat joke comments.  Dude, your ugly and your hair sucks.


At the evening part of the date we learn more about Doug and his family history, he is sincere and honest and I like him.  I feel like him and Emily have had a slow start but have a connection.


Tony oh Tony, stop your weeping and get lost.  Yes I can sympathize that you miss your kid.  I think you are playing it up because you know she will never choose you.  Emily did the polite thing and "excused" him to go home and be a father.  I mean really you knew what you were signing up for. Bye Tony.


Final date goes to my favorite and who I ultimately think will win Emily's heart...Arie.  I have liked him from minute one and tonight's date sealed the deal.  Dollywood sucks but Emily loved it and as you saw he loved watching her love it.  He only had eyes for her and forehead kisses are genuine and sweet.


At the end Kalin is still a jerk and his no socks with his shoes pissed me off. Allesandro..where to begin, your hair is an embarrassment. You dating your 3 rd cousin is disturbing.  You cheating on your 3rd cousin is a bit more normal.  You in general make me glad I am not single.


Emily sent his ass home along with  jersey boy Stevie...dance your ass off baby!!!


In the end I really dislike Ryan and Kalin and really heart Arie and Jef.


But to be honest I am not sure how I feel about Emily (woof)

Bye Bye Dawson....

What can cure the rainy day blues, well of course the trials and tribulations of our dear Bachlorette Emily.  Curling up on the couch just starting to get vested into the new season here we go......


Emily's first one on one date of the season belonged to Ryan.  Big muscles, tanned skin and swept up hair that looked like gumby's.  As we know Bachelor/Bachelorette dates are usually over the top helicopter rides, bungee jumping, swimming w/ shark events.  Ryan got baking cookies in Emily's kitchen for her daughter's soccer team.  Ha Ha, I love this basically because I don't like Ryan, and I believe any sort of cooking or just being in the kitchen is torture.  Ryan 's second part of the date was stepping onto the red carpet and having a nice dinner with Emily.  He had a look on his face like he belonged on a red carpet,  yeah behind all the other z-listers, guy you are on the The Bachlorette.  Dancing in front of their "fans", embarrassing the whole thing.  Eyes closed, please stop.  Not feeling Ryan and his big muscles and gumby hair.


Group Date:


The guys have to perform for an audience to raise money for Emily's favorite charity.  I hate these "dates" because they are always cheesy and dumb.  This did not fail but was way way worse.  I had to endure 30 minutes of Miss Piggy & Kermit.  I didn't like this crap when I was kid and I certainly don't want to watch this as an adult when I am supposed to be watching adult tv, bad adult tv but at least adult tv!!! Like I said in my Bachelor blog I have issues with children and and now puppets being on my guilty pleasures. I get its for charity and I may be bitchy and all..but I was annoyed.  I don't get people thinking its funny or cute to talk to a puppet.


Next one-on-one date goes to Joe/Dawson  - They take a private plane to The Greenbrier in West Virginia ( bet Ryan is pissed).  I have to say this place looked amazing, reminded me of the resort in the movie "Somewhere in Time"  The duo changed into black tie gear and had a romantic dinner where Emily was shooting off questions to Dawson.  Dawson's second mistake is not answering these questions and in return turning the questions back onto Emily.  First mistake is looking like a scary version of Dawson Leery. Ultimately after telling Emily he wants to come back here in the future with her and Ricki Emily tells him to get lost, kind of like what Joey did to Dawson.  I think I heard the "Dawson's Creek" theme song playing when Joe/Dawson walked away and the fireworks started.


Cocktail Party & Final Thoughts:


Tony poor Tony, humiliating sitting there while Emily reads a 7 page handwritten note from Ryann.  You should have walked away she is never going to choose you anyway.  Ryan you are scary who has 7 pages of stuff to write to someone they have known for 5 minutes.


Kalon - like I said last week, hideous, obnoxious douchebag!!


Arie - My favorite wish we saw more of him.  I have a crush and now want to go to Nascar.


Jef - My second favorite, he seemed so genuinely surprised she gave him the date rose.  I like him because of this and because of his hair and that he rides a skateboard.


Doug - Another good one, single dad, kind, considerate and good-looking.


These are my top three for the moment.  Things may change.... 

Life After 50 Shades...

I am an avid book reader or more accurately an obsessive book reader.  Once I start a book I have to finish as quickly as possible.  Thankfully I am a quick reader or else I would get nothing accomplished in my life.  I am a binge reader I read books for a couple of months then stop to get back to reality.  With that being said when I heard about the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy I decided let me see if this will keep me interested.  Ahhh ok within 25 pages I was hooked.


What can I say, Christian Grey swept through the pages and I couldn't put the book down.  Three books in 4 days, all consuming wishing it would never end but also needing it to.  I don't want to delve to deep in the details of the book but more about the popularity of this series.  Once I started reading I felt like it was everywhere I went, if you could actually get you hands on it.  One of the girls I work with checked her library and she was the 376th person on the list to get the book.  This was crazy.  But Christian he was worth the wait.


Something I did notice was that when talking to the different people who were reading the book there was definitely 2 sides of how people felt about this book and about Christian.  I would say the 45 and over crowd equally loved the book but thought Christian was a sicko.  Where the 45 and under wanted to know where we could find this man.  Ha Ha makes some interesting conversations.  


As I listened to people who were finishing the series there was always the same sentiment, now what??  It was like a depression to have to leave his Fifty Shades of F#@%$ up life behind.  


I have since read a couple of books that can help with the detox but they aren't Christian...just guys named Gideon and Kellan. 


I read Bared to You by Sylvia Day - This book is closer to Fifty Shades with the main characters being Gideon & Eva.  Just beware it stops abruptly and the sequel doesn't come out till October.  I was pissed!


Next I read Thoughtless & Effortless by S.C. Stephens - I actually loved these books and the main character Kellan.  


Like I said in a previous blog, I started a so called "book" a couple of years ago and every so often go back to it.  I now have to change the main characters name since it was Christian and I know longer can look at him the same way.  I also think that if I add in a lot more smut and maybe a whip and some handcuffs we may have a winner on our hands.

We've Only Just Begun...

Ok folks, here we go again but this time it's Bachelorette time!!!


Emily oh sweet Emily, like a tiny barbie doll only with a kid and a really annoying accent in tow.  Ok Ok, Ill be nice to start with.  Emily seems lovely and sweet just like we picture a southern belle, she has a sad story which I think makes her seem even sweeter.  I really don't know but these southern ladies just seem so dripping with sweetness that I think I would go mad if I lived there.  Or they are just really good actresses and really are evil trolls.  Either way...


I didn't watch her whole season when Brad picked her for his bride on The Bachelor but from what I did see is that the sheer fact that she said yes to Brad made me question her intelligence, he just gives up such a douchbaggy vibe.


With that being said I do hope she finds someone so she too can live "Happily Ever After" like Bachelor Ben and Courtney/Sybil.


So the first episode basically gives us a quick intro to Emily's potential future husband.
Here's a few highlights that stuck out for me..


Doug - has a son who wrote Emily a letter.  That's cheating first of all, but seriously he seemed sincere and I think he will be sticking around for a while.


Steve - really a boombox and dancing.  I cringed as he kind of danced/stroked out...just painful!


David - Singer from NYC.  I thought not bad looking then he opened his mouth, "Emily..Emily...wtf, I was embarrassed he was from NY.  Enough said.


Jeff - Skateboarder, he wasn't bad looking either but seems a bit juvenile for the southern belle


Kalon - Helicopter snob.  What else..ok yes..smug, ugly, asshole. Please leave


Arie - Race Car Driver.  I liked him and thought he was cute.  I liked that he told her right from the start what he did knowing that she may not have been ok with it.  He may be my favorite right now.


Brent - 6 kids - adios this is not the "Brady Bunch"


Chris - Bobble-Headed freak.  Sometimes it's just truly hard to keep my eyes on the tv.


It didn't seem to me that Emily actually had a lot of decent guys to choose from.  Most of them reminded me of the flock of guys you would find at any local high school or sanitarium.  Maybe as the weeks go bye I will feel differently, you know I will be sure not to hold it back.


Ahhh Monday's glad you are back...

Disney or Bust...

Ahhh the Magic Kingdom, Mickey Mouse, Cinderella's Castle, swarms of people, a billion screaming kids..sounds like a dream vacation.


Just a quick blog before I leave tomorrow to take the kids to the most magical place on earth.  I personally am not a zippity do da kind of gal but being a parent means sometimes having to put your children ahead of yourself.  Every child should be able to experience the thrill of Disney World and I am taking one for the team. 


I went to Disney when I was about 12 years old not that i didn't enjoy it but being the type of child that basically puked on any moving object rides were not an option.  What I do remember is sitting in the Hall of Presidents at the request of my older brother Michael.  (More mental torture..check out ("I had the time of my life" blog)  If I remember correctly it was like 2 hours of torture.  The only plus was that it was air conditioned and I was able to sleep off the dramamine my father drugged me with.


I am going on this adventure with a glass half full attitude, I do believe my kids will have the time of their lives.  I hope to make it special and I pray that meltdowns are minimal and will pay any astronomical price for cocktails to fuel me till the bitter end.


After 3 fun-filled days in Disney we will be spending 4 days relaxing with friends away from the characters and happy smiling people, I mean really how much cheer and positivity can one take.


I am sure to have many stories to share on my return...stay tuned for cheerful pics, maybe I will even be wearing my Mickey ears!!!