I Had The Time Of My Life...

So this blog is dedicated to my brothers who read my blog and for the most part haven't been able to follow since they don't watch The Bachelor.  I can't understand why they wouldn't be as excited as me to watch this show every week.

As an only sister to two brothers smack in the middle with 4 years between Michael and I and 5 years between John John and I, we have had some interesting times.  I have a hard time really remembering the early years but what I do remember is the torture bestowed upon me by Michael.. Sometimes physical most of the time emotional.  I at an early age was obsessed with movies and with my adult life this becomes all consuming.  "Dirty Dancing" was the movie, Patrick Swayze was my guy, and I had the Time of My Life was the song.  I even had a life size cardboard cutout of Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey in my room that the lady from the video store gave me.  Any time the video would come on tv I could hear it and would run to the tv to watch and listen.  Knowing this and my obsession when Michael heard me bounding down the stairs to catch the video as soon as I rounded the corner just about to catch a glimpse of "the lift"  Michael would change the channel.  Bam I would flip out yell and stamp away, halfway back up the stairs I would hear the song again and run back down turn the corner and switch he goes.  This was a constant and I had no power to stop him.

In the cabbage patch craze, I had a Dugger Family worth, all with new names I gave them and special places they belonged.  At this time these dolls meant a lot to me.  So how do you think I felt when one day I walked in my room and they all were hanging from the ceiling with string around their necks.  Even on a chair I was unable to reach them to save them from death by strangulation.

There are so many stories like these that I know everyone has as well.  The thing about Michael is that everyone thought he was just so perfect, smart, polite and just a sweet angel.  These are the ones that are the most evil.

John John seemed so much younger to me growing up and that is chalked up to the 5 year gap between us.  What I do remember though was his obsession with dinosaurs.  Maybe when he was like 6 and I was 11 he told me he was going to be a Paleontologist.  I think I told him to "screw off" thinking to myself what the hell was a paleontologist.  Asshole kid!  I was too busy obsessing over Patrick Swayze and Cabbage Patch Kids to be that smart.


While my brothers were busying playing Dungeons & Dragons, Risk and studying fossils I was busy as well.  Busy playing dress-up,singing & dancing in my room, playing with make-up and seeing how I could annoy the shit out of them.


As you get older and the age-gap seems less important you can start to share similar interests that bring you together.  For example on a family cruise we took before I moved to California was a fine example.  If you have ever been on a cruise you know that you give your credit card and they give you a cruise card that you use and the charges come in your credit card bill.  Well since Michael and I were considered adults at this point we had to use our own card, John John still being a minor had a cruise card billed to my parents credit card.  Ahhh bonding time...Michael and I convinced John John to get all our drinks for a week....a month later poor mom & dad.  I was long gone laying on the beach in sunny California!!!

As any sister knows who only has brothers being in this role makes you the "mother"  reminding them of birthdays, doing their Christmas shopping, wrapping their Christmas gifts, picking out clothes and just being a nag in general.  As "adults" who now have real jobs and families the dynamic changes.  My younger brother at times seems like my older brother (sister sitting) at its finest!!


Even though Michael has lived in DC for 25 years it feels like yesterday he would be banging on my bedroom wall threatening my life if I didn't stop singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow"


Would I have wanted to have a sister, I am not really sure.  I have such close ladies in my life they felt like sisters but for me my brothers are swell.

Au Revoir Assholes!!!

Well after weeks of blogging about Ben The Bachelor this season finally concluded last night with 3 hours of terribly horrific television.  The first 2 hours consisted of Ben saying how much he had fallen in love with these 2 woman and can picture a life with them.  Lindze saying over and over how happy she is to have fallen in love again, blah, blah, blah.  Bring in the terrible bachelor music, helicopter rides, Ben walking aimlessly around, snowy mountains of Switzerland....put me out of my misery.


I never truly understand the end of this show, you have to know who you are choosing before they show up in the helicopters, boats, limos whatever for the final decision.  Ben acted like he was torn 24 hours beforehand and poor Lindze just wouldn't stop talking when she finally got to him.  I yelled at the tv..."just shut up your making it worse he isn't choosing you"!!!  I do have to say she had the most cause to have the mental breakdown after being rejected but she held it together and for that I was proud.  Can you imagine if it was Kacie B. in her position, down to the final two and being rejected.  They would probably have to call the paramedics. And with that Lindze disappears for ever...I think it would have been fitting if they let her ride away on a horse.


Since we all basically knew that Ben was choosing Courtney it was no real surprise.  I have to say I thought she looked amazing but god she really is a disturbed individual.  Between a season of weird facial ticks, baby voices, "winnings", with a glass of wine in hand at all times she won The Bachelor's heart and got that amazing 3 carat Neil Lane cushion cut diamond.


The live show basically confirmed what I thought after last weeks "The Woman Tell All".  Ben chose Courtney but after watching the episodes realized what a psycho she was and he was humiliated.  Again I think he made her apologize.  We found out that they had broken up after the show started airing and Ben basically ignored her for weeks.  She even told us viewers she didn't even get a card or a carnation for Valentine's Day..poor Courtney.  Flash to the end Ben gives Courtney back her bling and they are going to see what happens because they are so in love.


Final thoughts...I do think Courtney psycho but I do think that she loves Ben.  I do think Ben is an asshole.  Have a happy life!!


At least since Ben owns a winery Courtney's glass will never be empty.


Bye Bye Bachelor


xx

No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk!!

Ahhh The Woman Tell All....not to much to say here just a quick recap before the big finale


Just a quick shout out to the blond Zena the Princess Warrior that Chris Harrison invited for the show.  Oh wait that was just Jaclyn, I didn't recognize her since she decided to dye herself orange and suddenly transform herself into looking like a man.  I couldn't look directly at her on the screen with fear that i may go blind.


Anyway obviously this episode is meant for the woman to scream, bitch, laugh, cry and have to endure their most embarrassing moments over again while watching clips of the show.  This is exactly what happened.  We got to see Jenna having a nervous breakdown, Jaime's awkward lap dance with Ben,  Kacie B. downward spiral in the limo, etc, etc.


I have to say that Samantha is annoying and I don't even know why she felt the need to keep yapping it up, I don't even really remember her from the show.  I actually really like Emily regardless of the fact that she raps.  Nicki and Kacie B seem genuinely sweet but at this point kind of pathetic its been months since Ben dumped you its ok to call him an asshole.


This brings us to Courtney, I have a STRONG feeling that the only reason she appeared on the show and apologized is because Ben actually picked her for his wife.  Because of this and how awful she is on the show and the bashing he is getting now that everyone is witnessing this on television he sees what a fool he looks like.  I think he gave her an ultimatum to go on the show and eat crow or ill dump your ass on live television on "After The Final Rose"


I do believe the tears were real, but not tears of sadness for the way she treated the other girls.  These were tears of anger and resentment, when you are forced to do something you don't want to and your so angry but you can't lash out so the only thing you can do is cry.  I know these tears because I have shed them in the past at old jobs when all I wanted to do was curse out my old boss but knew that I couldn't.  I needed my job to pay for my second job which was happy hour.  So all you can do while holding in this anger is cry.  I believe this was what happened to Courtney last night.


Maybe I am wrong, maybe she was sincere in a week I think well possibly find out.


The big finale is Monday, and I can't wait.. Regardless of whom Ben chooses I will be happy this is over and hopefully will find some of my brain cells again.