Bachelor Blog - 90210, Derby Disaster & a jilted Pretty Woman!!

4 episodes in and things are getting interesting..

Date #1 goes to Selma.  Yes she is pretty, yes she had big boobs but I just don't see her making it to the end.  The set off on a private plane for parts unknown, and we get to hear Selma ask repeatedly where they are going.  Shut it Selma he isn't about to just tell you.  They end up in the middle of nowhere in brutal heat to go rock-climbing.  Selma informs us that she doesn't do well in heat and not without 6 inch heels.  Ugh.  I know she is pretty but I just don't feel her at all.

She manages to climb herself and her boobs up the rock and into Sean's arms.  Next up they end up in some strange trailer park wrapped in a blanket cuddling.   Selma tells Sean she is Muslim and can't kiss him on tv.  Wait is this The Bachelor? That's a prerequisite to the show - making out.  Sean gives her a rose but I think that's because he doesn't want to let her go till he seals the deal with a kiss. Selma is the Donna Martin of The Bachelor.

Group Date - Let's take the woman to go to a Roller Derby.  Heck ya let's include the one armed girl too.  Who thought this through, clearly no one or everyone since this would be good TV.  Poor Sarah could not balance and was reduced to tears.  She is lucky she didn't fall on her face.  That was comically chosen for greasy faced Amanda.  To bad they didn't need to wire her jaw closed.

As the ladies hang around trying to get Sean's attention Tierra of course causes a scene.  She declares that she is leaving then runs off to find Sean.  Sean of course is about to go make out with Lindsey in the hot tub.  As he walks out the door there is Teirra crouched outside on the floor in the dark like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.  She weeps to him that she can't take it and it's just so hard.  Sean being the moron he is runs off to get the rose to give her.  Close up on Tierra's smirky smile.  Witch!

Final Date goes to Leslie.  She even receives diamond drop earrings courtesy of Neil Lane of course.  Her date is a knock off of Pretty Woman.  The ending isn't so rainbows and sunshine like in the movie though.  Sean takes Leslie on a shopping spree to Badgley Mishka ( not one of my favorites).  She proceeds to pick out a hideous dress and also Sean throws in shoes & a bag.  Next up they pay a visit to our friend Neil where they give her a stunning diamond necklace.

At dinner Sean pulls a douchy move and picks up the rose to basically tell Leslie she isn't getting it.  He says he doesn't feel the chemistry.  I get and respect that he doesn't feel it and needs to send her home.  But why dangle the prize in her face to then smack her across the face with it.  Worse yet as he walks her out he is like, "you need to give the necklace back".  Brutal, embarrassing..this was not the ending of Pretty Woman that I remember.

Rose Ceremony is pretty tame, the only thing that catches my attention is Catherine.  I haven't seen a lot of her but her & Sean's interaction & kiss makes me think she may be taking the lead.  Sean seemed nervous with her and they seemed to click.  Let's keep an eye on her.

Finally Amanda got sent home!!!   I always feel badly when they are eliminated because it must be humiliating but it was clear her & Sean were not a match.

Next weeks 2 parter looks AMAZING!!!  Please god let Tierra finally get the boot.  She is tiresome and I am sick of looking at her eyebrows.

I am sure this is to be the most dramatic episode EVER!

x

Acupuncture Part Deux...

After my first tackle at Acupuncture I spent the next week anticipating my triumphant return to Dr. Cha Cha. So off I go Saturday keeping an open mind and wearing proper knickers.

 I know longer am worried about being chained to a radiator and tortured so that part of the anxiety is gone.Now I know the drill strip down get on the table and wait for the jabbing to begin. Start with feet and ankles, then the wrists, now top of head, temples, neck and lastly my stomach.  As I like to think, my brain, carotid artery, liver, spleen and a gall bladder if I had one.  

Little pinches nothing I can't handle, but not pleasant, not relaxing.  Again the ones in my stomach make it impossible to really breath because i feel all of them when I try to take a deep breathe.  She then does the moxi crap again, putting the ones in my stomach on fire.  Smoke billowing from my belly laying in my knickers she leaves the room for me to "relax"

Why the second everything is in place and I'm supposed to soak all the positive energy in does my face itch.  It's all I can think about and I can't move.  The smoke coming off my belly makes me cough, but I can't because then the needles in my stomach feel as though they are coming out my back.  Ok, Ill just lay here and listen to the clock ticking. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

This time alone makes me really think about what's going on here..I am laying half naked with 50 metal needles coming out of my body and a little bonfire off my belly.  What am I doing here?

Dr. Cha Cha returns to snuff out my belly and remove the little buggers.  She informs me that I will have a bruise on my stomach as she kneads my belly like pizza dough.  Make another appointment, sure why not.  I'm hoping for some sort of sign that this is working or will work but for now ill just keep on hanging with Cha Cha.

On a side note here are my favorite dresses from the Sag awards:

Nina Dobrev - Elie Saab

Marion Cotillard - Dior Haute Couture

Amanda Seyfried - Zak Posen. Stunning!

Off to watch The Bachelor....

Confessions of a disillusioned daydream believer...

Well I decided to update my blog name...seems to suit me just fine.

No big post to write just yet.  Back to Acupuncture & Dr. Cha Cha tomorrow so I'll update after that ordeal.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Stick me please..Acupuncture fun!

Well after months of deliberation I finally decided to bite the bullet and try Acupuncture.  This has been recommended to me from many of my Doctors and friends.

I personally was pessimistic since I didn't think I could drink the Kool Aid they offer.  But then again when you feel like crap on a normal basis you are willing to try anything including Voodoo Magic.  So I made my first appointment with a lady I will call Dr. Cha Cha Digregorio.  I made sure to let several people know exactly where I was going and what time I was to be finished, this was in case Dr. Cha Cha decided to chain me to a wall and stick needles in my eyes.  This goes along with my huge distrust of people and my relinquishment of control.

So I show up for my appointment trying to keep an open mind and go through all the paperwork, my illnesses, medications & ailments.  Even before we begin Dr. Cha Cha sums up that I am a big mess.  She tell me I need to strip down to my undies and tank top ( for future reference wear full underwear next visit).  She explains to me which areas she will focus on today and begins to quickly stick me with the needles.  Can I feel them yes, are they painful..well some.  I am not against needles, I have numerous tattoos and get my blood drawn and IV treatments every 6 weeks but ts was very different.  This was some lady I didn't know shoving metal needles all over my body, how am I supposed to relax if I wasn't sure she was puncturing my liver or carotid artery.  Also the fact that I couldn't move an inch, or inhale/exhale deeply without feeling them made this difficult.  

At this point she proceeded to set the needles in my stomach on fire or something.  Because I had the inability to see whats going on but saw the smoke rising fro my stomach.  Sure at this point I was so far removed from relaxing.  I'm sitting in my underwear with 50 needles and a fire coming off my stomach.  

As she left me to find my inner zen all I could think about was that I willingly paid money for this.  She finally came back in to remove these little buggers from my tense body.  As she is doing so she is letting me know just what a hot mess I really am.  Against my better judgement I sign up for another appointment, Why?  Because so many people said I can't base it off the first appointment, so I am letting go and trying to trust this process.  

I go back Saturday and hoping this time I can get past the fact that I know what is going to happen.  So I am going back in hoping to drink the Kool Aid and wearing proper knickers!!!

Tacky hos are a dime a dozen.

Week 2

Things are starting to get entertaining!!! People are falling in love, 5 days and they just can't imagine their lives without our chiseled body Sean.  As Chris Harrison said Sean is the most sincere bachelor in the history of the show.  Guess that means all the other bachelors were there for fantasy suites and trips around the world.

Date #1 - This date goes to Sarah and she is more excited than a tween who just won Justin Bieber tickets.  The card reads if she is ready to fall in love, this question is ridiculous since all the girls have been in love since they walked, flipped & shimmied out of the revolving limo onto the wet mansion driveway.

Sean picks Sarah up in a helicopter...gasp...all the girls act like they have never seen this before.  Ladies this is The Bachelor the helicopter is the #1 mode of transportation.  They take that awkward ride where their voices are all echoey & talk about how amazing the view is.  Once they land on a tall ass building Sean drops the news.  First date is free-falling 300 feet.  Sean your an asshole.  Sarah smiles and laughs nervously since she actually wants to punch him in his face.

They survive their free-fall with no puking along the way.  Next up a dinner where Sarah shares a story about how her one arm has kept her from doing things she feels like she can accomplish. Sad music, Sean smiles, Sarah is in love.  She is sweet, I just don't know if I see this to the end.

Group Date - Always a favorite for the ladies & myself. All the ladies & Sean head to a mansion to have a photo shoot. The winner & Sean will be on the cover of three Harlequin novels (you know the smutty books with Fabio on the cover)  So basically 13 girls getting their hair & make up done and having to act like whores to win the prize.  

Tierra who seemed sweet as pie night one is turning into a shrew.  "I'm not here for friends speech" followed by "Does she have extensions?"  Bitchity Bitch then possibly overheard the "Tacky hoes are a dime a dozen" response.  Courtney was a shrew on Ben's season but at least she was pretty.  This girl is tacky and way to tan.

Date #2 - Desiree gets this date & Sean thinks it would be great fun to prank her.  He brings her to a fake art show & set her up to believe that she ruined a 1.5 million dollar piece. She handled it well but this was dumb, I don't want to see pranks I want crying, fighting and cringe worthy break-up scenes.

Desiree & Sean do have chemistry & she reminds me of Katie Holmes.  He easily gives her a rose and I think Desiree will be there till the end.

Rose Ceremony -  Sean takes this time to make sure he chats up all the girls he hasn't had a date with yet.  We got to see a lot of Amanda and her scary oily face grimacing.  Her neon green horror show of a dress should have been a reason for Sean to send her home immediately. She scowls all night like a freak and the second Sean pulls her away her inner Sybil pops out.  She needs to be sent packing. Scary chick.

So with lamb head volunteering to leave & Sean sending 2 girls packing the journey has officially began.  Next week looks way to entertaining with Tierra's big fall down the stairs.  Was she pushed, did she slip or is it an evil attempt to sabotage another potential fiancee of Sean's? 

Can't wait for Monday!

All's safe in love & war until someone attempts a backflip and falls on their face!

Mondays are Back!!!! It's Bachelor time.  Just a recap of what has happened in Bachelor/ette world since last season ended.  Ben & Courtney broke up (shocker), Emily & Jeff broke up (shocker), JP & Ashley got married (shocker).

This season will start the journey with Sean in his quest for everlasting love.  Like I have said I wasn't really a fan of Sean's from Emily's season, his pirate eye annoyed me and I think he was just to blah to be on my radar.  But I am hoping he changes my mind but regardless his journey will be one worth watching.

We start off with Sean's journey after Emily dumped him last season, he got over her by working out profusely and staring at his muscles.  Arie shows up to give Sean some "tips", not sure why since Arie too was dumped by Emily.  It was awkward but I like to look at Arie.

Next up the limo entrances, always a special treat.

The good.

 Tierra - she seemed sweet, sincere and cute. Sean gave her a rose straight away.  Sometimes the innocent are the most guilty and it appears this way in the previews for this season.  Will Tierra be the next Courtney?, did someone shove her down a flight of stairs?, I can't wait!

Desiree - The Bridal Stylist from Colorado.  I like her, she seemed down to earth and normal.  Well normal for this show.  I have a feeling she will go far.

Sarah - It's not because she has one arm, truly, I like her.  I think she is pretty and very real.  I think she and Sean connected and think she will go far.

Kacie B. - Oh Kacie B. how we have missed you.  The infamous episode when Ben sent her home and she is bawling "What the F@!# just happened" remains one of my favorites.  She is back because she had met Sean and thought they had a connection.  Let's hope if she makes it to hometown dates her parents are locked in the basement.

The bad.

Robyn - She decided to attempt a back flip out of the limo to get Sean's attention.  Well she got all of ours when she landed on her face.  I would have just brushed myself off & ran back into the limo - priceless.  

Lindsey - Let's show up in a wedding dress, an ugly one to that.  Desperate much, even though she claims this to be humorous.  I just didn't get it.

Ashley - 50 shades of scary.  A hot mess outside & inside.  We all secretly read these books but to be ask for a beating the first night?

Rose Ceremony.

Nothing is more entertaining then a bunch of drunk desperate woman trying to all get time with one guy.  Sean was giving out roses left & right, so at the ceremony only 7 remained.  Tough to be sent home the first night.  Makes me laugh that even on the first night there are tears.

The next 9 weeks looks entertaining to say the least.  Can't wait for all the drama, tears, fights and humiliation along the way.

Happy Monday's are here again.

Love it/Hate it

Just a couple of things that I am loving and hating right about now...

Love it - The Bachelor.  Starts tonight & I couldn't be more excited for another disastrous season of embarrassingly ridiculous moments.  Didn't really feel Sean last season but a perfect choice for someone that I can weekly make fun of.  Mondays are happy again!!!!

Hate it - . Kim Kardashian and the next 9 months of having to deal with hearing all about the Kimye pregnancy.  I just don't care...at all.

Love it - My new Bose headphones.  Love my music and love that their noise cancelling and I can shut the world out.  I have them on right now as I type this crap up.

Hate it - New Years Resolutions.  I am going to start working out, I am going on a diet, I'm going to stop cursing, I am going to quit smoking,  I am going to stop drinking.  No, No you are not!  Ok, maybe like 5% of you will, but why set ourselves up for failure.  As you can tell I am a glass half empty kinda girl.  BTW I am giving up cursing.  If my stats are correct I have set myself up for disappointment, but at least I tired.

Love it -Free People Blog.  I love journals and love this..
http://blog.freepeople.com/2012/12/awesome-gift-idea-chrissy-piper/

Hate it - Laundry.  I know this doesn't need a huge explanation of why this is a must hate. Wash, fold put away & repeat. Why is it always endless, where does it all come from and why do I have 30 single socks with no matches????

That's all that is on my mind for right now, well that and trying to will my coworker next to me to make some coffee....